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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26835643">Cause you were always strong</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Patchwork_Quilt/pseuds/Patchwork_Quilt'>Patchwork_Quilt</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Wiedźmin | The Witcher (Video Game), Wiedźmin | The Witcher - All Media Types</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Eskel loves him so much, Hurt/Comfort, Jaskier is a witcher, Jaskier | Dandelion Whump, M/M, Memory Loss, Soft Eskel (The Witcher), Witcher Jaskier | Dandelion, jaskier has no memory of his past</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-10-05</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-11-10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 12:08:55</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence, No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,759</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26835643</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Patchwork_Quilt/pseuds/Patchwork_Quilt</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>That face, he knew that face, it was a face that almost brought him to tears. </p><p>Jaskier’s face. </p><p>—-<br/>Jaskier is a lost wolf witcher, forced to serve the Kaedwen throne, going by the title of the Hound of Kaedwen.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Eskel/Jaskier | Dandelion</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>100</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Lost pup</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Please enjoy!!<br/>I worked hard on this and I’m excited to do more with it</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>The lights were dim, everything was grey, the walls, the floor, all of it. There were bars on the door as well. The sound of boots marching could be heard in the distance, slowly growing louder. The voice of a man spoke, promises of safety. He was given a reassuring pat on the shoulder, he looked up, but he couldn’t see the man’s face, it was blurred out. Another man paced around the small room; that man was nervous. The sound of marching got louder,and closer. Suddenly he was being pulled away from the man who had patted his shoulder. He started screaming, and screaming, crying out to him, “Vesemir! Vesemir! Vese-“ </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>—-</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Julian woke up from the dream, wiping a stray tear from his eye; he turned his head, looking out the window the sun had not risen yet. He smiles to himself, the mist isn't fully back yet. It was a cold morning, and winter was fast approaching. He hates the winter, every year he feels as if he should be going somewhere, but he doesn't know where his body wants him to go, and he doesn’t know why. He gets out of bed and gets dressed. The scratched and sanded down amulet hit his chest as he moved. It used to have something on it, an animal of some sort. But that was long ago now; on the back it held two names, one was scratched out, and the other was his name; Julian.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>   He loves the hours and moments before dawn, before the mist settled back in. He could remember parts of his dreams, he could almost remember . He brushes his long brown hair up into a bun. A lock of black hair fell into his amber eyes, he pushed it behind his ear.  Another reason he loved these moments, he could see his real eyes, the mist hadn’t reached them yet. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>  The dream was slowly fading from his mind. Julian furrows his brow, every night it was a different dream, a different fragment. All pieces of the same story, a story he couldn’t put together. A story that was important to him, but was lost. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He wanted to know their names, the people he saw in his dreams.he wanted to know where they were, why weren’t they here with him? Why was he alone? He desperately wanted answers, he wanted and needed to know. He was told that he existed to serve the throne, and nothing else mattered, he was told not to think about his past at all. The mist took care of that for him, the mist forced him to forget, forced him to not know. If he had thoughts about disobeying and not doing his so-called “purpose” the mist forced those thoughts and ideas down. If he kept thinking about his past during the hours the sun was in the sky, the mist hurt him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The sun began to rise. Julian watches in the mirror as his eyes glaze over. The mist returns, a foggy yellowish white; and, as the last memory of the dream fades, so does his smile.He leaves the room. Time for work, the only purpose he knew he had. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>&lt;&gt;</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Eskel walks next to Scorpion. They were close to a village, and he smiles hoping to get some supplies before he heads up to the keep. Winter is, and always has been, his favorite season. He gets to go home, and see his family. Well, what family he had left. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>   He leads his horse up the road to Kaedwen, as he walks he sees a poster nailed to a tree. He pauses in front of it, looking it over only for a second. It seemed to be a poem, about the hound of Kaedwen. Some local folk hero or Villain, depending on who you asked. The Hound was a Man as far as Eskel could tell, so he didn’t bother getting involved.  </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span> He reached the entrance to the village, a familiar but old scent hit him like a brick to the head. Honeysuckle, Sage, and something that brought him back to his days training at Kaer Morhen. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span> He looks around trying to find the source of the scent, and then Eskel sees him. That face, he </span>
  <em>
    <span>knew </span>
  </em>
  <span>that face, it was a face that almost brought him to tears. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jaskier’s face. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>But those eyes, they weren’t Jaskier’s or witcher’s eyes. And his face has no emotions, or expressions. His medallion against his neck  vibrates. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Magic</span>
  </em>
  <span>. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span> He walks up to who he hopes is his friend. The man turns and looks at him, and his eyes clear up for just a second, gold and bright. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Witcher’s eyes. </span>
  </em>
  <span>The man looks confused, then his eyes  fog over again. </span>
</p><p>
  <span> The man's eyes flutter open and closed, he speaks. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Excuse me, who are you? State your business.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was a monotone expressionless voice.  Eskel doesn’t respond. He knows that voice, that's jaskier’s voice. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Excuse me...do, do I know you?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>And Eskel’s heart nearly breaks. </span>
  <em>
    <span>He doesn’t remember me. </span>
  </em>
  
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“May I talk to you in private?”  He manages to get out. Receiving a nod from the other man who allows Eskel to lead them out of town a little ways off the road. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>~~</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Eskel ties his Scorpion to a tree, “J-Jaskier? It’s me Eskel..” he chokes out, praying that the other man remembers his name.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Is that the name of your horse? Wouldn’t it be easier to call it buttercup?” Julian tilts his head to the side, confused. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No, my horse is named Scorpion. Your name is Jaskier. Please.. please listen to me, you have to come with me.” </span>
  <em>
    <span>Jaskier please don’t do this, I can’t not bring you home now that I know you’re alive.  </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I will do no such thing! I do not know you, And my duty is to the throne.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Jaskier-“ eskel gets cut off.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Stop calling me that. My name is Julian, I am not your buttercup. I am not Jaskier. I am a solider.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re not a soldier! You’re Jaskier Witcher of Kaer Morhen, I do not want to force you to come with me but I will, pup.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Julian draws his sword, and Eskel does the same. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Don’t kill or hurt him too much. Just knock him out… or something</span>
  </em>
  
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. I can almost remember the way you say my name</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Julian wakes up and Eskel tries to calm things down</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Hey! Thank you for reading!!! I really hope you enjoy reading this!!! I put a lot of time and effort into it!!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Eskel closes his eyes for a brief moment, he doesn’t want to fight Jaskier, but he’s going to. They both are evenly matched, </span>
  <em>
    <span>thank the gods  Vesemir taught us both. </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Eskel blocks a hit, and both as quickly and discreetly as he can cast Axi on Jaskier. But the sign doesn’t go through. A thick fog or </span>
  <em>
    <span>mist </span>
  </em>
  <span>seems to block the spell, as if something else has a hold on Jaskier’s mind. Jaskier flinches for a moment, dropping his guard. Giving  Eskel the chance he needs, he swiftly knocks the other man out, Jaskiers body crumpling onto the ground. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Eskel scoops him up, and climbs onto Scorpion;riding the horse a decent distance away from the village, and into the woods.  He stops at a clearing and gets off. Tying the reins to a tree branch he then lays Jaskier down, tying his hands together, along with his legs. </span>
  <em>
    <span>This feels wrong, he’s my friend. But he doesn’t remember. I have to get him to the keep. I can’t afford him running away….I can’t lose him again. </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He sighs and makes a camp, the sun was setting and it would be cold at night; so he made a fire, and set up his bed roll.  He froze as he heard a groan. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Ughh fuck my head! Wait….What the fuck! WHAT THE FUCK!!!” Jaksier was awake, and Eskel couldn’t help but chuckle a little. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m sorry, I’m sorry. I had to knock you out...I’m sorry.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“....I-I I know your voice….or at least I did once.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“My name is Eskel, we grew up together.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I don’t remember you..I barely remember your voice...but you say you knew me?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yes a long long time ago when we were just pups-I mean kids.” Eskel looks at the ground trying not to look Jaskier in the face, if he looked at his face he might cry. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What’s my favorite color?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Excuse me?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What’s my favorite color?” Jaksier repeated. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Cornflower blue, it’s what color your eyes were before the trials.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hm, I don't remember my eyes being any color but yellow. But, Cornflower blue is my favorite color so you must be telling the truth.”  Jaskier nods his head, as he speaks. As if to confirm the words he had just spoken. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Eskel looks at his face, the eyes that just moments ago when the sun was out were fully white;were now yellow much like his own. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You’re much more civil and responsive now then you were earlier.” Eskel comments.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“That’s because the mist is gone for now.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“The mist?” Eskel was just even more confused by this comment. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah the mist, it comes when the sun comes up. I can’t remember anything and I’m not in control.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“That sounds terrible, but that’s why you don’t remember me? Or that your name is jaskier?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“My name is buttercup? I like that much Better than Julian. Where are you taking me exactly?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“To the keep, it’s where we grew up, where we were trained; It’s home.  Our home, not that town you were in, you’re real home.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I dream about home sometimes. I can only remember tiny things; a big warm hearth, sword fights, wrestling.  I want to go home.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, Kaer Morhen. That’s where we are going, I’m taking you home.”  </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Julian shifts closer to Eskel, giving him a small head bonk against Eskel’s knee. Eskel chuckles; it felt normal, almost. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hey uh Eskel?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yes Jaskier? Or well Julian if you prefer?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Either works! But uh, when we travel, and the sun is up can you knock me out?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I really rather not.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You have to. If you don’t I’m only gonna fight you again, and again and again. Until we can fix my memory. And I like being asleep. I get to dream, and when I dream I remember things.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“O-okay, I won’t like knocking you out but I will.”  Eskel stokes the fire. And digs out some dried fruit. “Hungry, pup?”  </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No, but thank you.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Suit yourself.” Eskel tossed some slices into his own mouth. “We leave tomorrow, don’t worry about cleaning up, I’ll do as you ask and knock you as soon as the sun rises.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Julian nods and curls up next to Eskel’s knee. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Thank you, sweet Eskel.” </span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Thank you for reading, if you liked it leave a comment and a kudos!!! And find me on tumblr at Patchwork-Doublet</p>
        </blockquote><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>If you liked it please leave kudos and  a comment!!</p></blockquote></div></div>
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